Gossip Girl!

Have you ever seen previews for the TV show, Gossip Girl? There is drama, intrigue… just the American woman’s daily life, right?! Isn’t this what women do? Let’s look at some statistics about women. The Scienfic American states, “But in the end, the sexes came out just about even in the daily averages: women at 16,215 words and men at 15,669… He does point out that women tend to jaw more about other people, whereas men are apt to hold forth on more concrete objects—so the stereotypes of ladies as gossips and guys engaging in car talk can live on.” Roosh V Forum reveals,

“It will come as no surprise to their often less talkative male counterparts. The typical woman spends five hours a day – more than a third of her waking hours – chatting and gossiping, a study has revealed. Whether at home or work women natter for about 298 minutes every day, it found. Discussing other people’s problems, who is dating who and other people’s children form the basis of most of the chat… The report also found women spend 24 minutes a day discussing their weight, diets and dress size.”

This has been the joke for centuries about women-it's what we do "best"!

Ladies, this is the expectation the world has for us! Society even gives us phenomenal role models like the teenagers on Gossip Girls, movies like Mean Girls for students in high school (please sense my sarcasm in this statement). As a result, we ALL are going to struggle with speaking gossip and not being broken in our speech and motives by GOD. I know, even as a believer, I struggle and have to be held to a HIGH standard to fight against this horrible habit! Of course, if we follow these worldly standards, these sad statistics will live on, and the stereotype of women being “catty” will forever remain.

James3: 5-6 describes our power with words, “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell”. YIKES! If our words are literally considered a “world of evil”, we must realize the poison it can create in our relationships with others. God knows us intricately as women and knew we would always crave this form of dishonoring one another and feeding our selfish thoughts. We MUST choose deliberately to trust what God says about how we speak and honor people with our tongue words. Once again, if we do this, we are broken to world, but we are alive in Christ.

Like many of you know, I am a high school public school teacher. I have very close relationships with my female students (appropriately so, of course), so they will come to me with problems they are having. So, when they first approach me with a problem, I automatically ask them, “Are you coming here to vent or are you coming to me desiring wisdom and a solution in mind?” They always think, sometimes they say “I just want to vent”, and I never let them. Then, I read a favorite verse of mine, Ephesians4:29, “Do not let ANY unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen“. This is the precedent- is what they are about to say leaning toward a solution, and do they honor the person they are speaking about (they should not use names for confidentiality if they do not need to)? Is this conversation benefiting me?

Here is another challenging verse from James 3:9-12,

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse like men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My [sisters], this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My [sisters], can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neight can a salt spring produce fresh water”.

God desires us to be broken so we can produce fruit and glorify HIM. Our goal for speaking should not be how we can appease our flesh and satisfy our desires. If we do so, this is where we will feel those thoughts of brokenness I spoke about yesterday. I wonder how our lives and relationships would change if we did this (I include myself in this statement) EVERY single time we spoke with another.

Today, let’s choose to be God’s light like Matthew5:14 talks about. Let’s become broken and lead those to repentence through God’s kindess with our words (read Romans2:1-4)! Pray today that you can allow your “me-monster” flesh and immediate words to die, and instead, you represent God’s Son. I promise, if we do this ladies, we will easily be separated from the world and its “cattiness”.

Here is one last concluding verse from James3:17-18, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, consider submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in a peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” CHOOSE to be God’s peacemaker right now!

Please share in the comments section any way you see yourself being broken for God today with your speech and how that blesses your day and relationships! I look forward to reading them.

God’s Freedom From Brokenness

Last year, I came across an article, Revival of the Heart: Choosing Brokenness, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I loved her description of God’s type of brokenness, and how when we allow ourselves to break for God, we find true freedom, not pain. The United States labels Christianity as suppressive and limiting, and cannot comprehend why so many people would follow so many “rules” of the Bible. The United States also defines brokenness as a state of depression, desperation, and failure- and to me, those three words represent our culture.

This is what brokenness looks like in the World.

DeMoss, however, does a phenomenal job expressing the phenomena of true brokenness within Christianity. Here is an excerpt from her article,

 

“Brokenness does not mean, as some think, having a sad, gloomy, downcast countenance–never smiling or laughing. It does not mean always being morbidly introspective. Nor can it be equated with deeply emotional experiences. It is possible to shed buckets full of tears, without ever experiencing a moment of brokenness. Further, brokenness is not the same as being deeply hurt by tragic circumstances. A person may have experienced many deep hurts and tragedies, but never have been broken.

Brokenness is not a feeling; rather, it is a choice, an act of the will. It is not primarily a one-time experience or crisis (though there may be crisis points in the process of brokenness); rather, it is an ongoing, continual lifestyle.

Brokenness is a lifestyle of agreeing with God about the true condition of my heart and life, as He sees it. It is a lifestyle of unconditional, absolute surrender of my will to the will of God–a heart attitude that says, “Yes, Lord!” to whatever God says. Brokenness means the shattering of my self-will, so that the life and Spirit of the Lord Jesus may be released through me. Brokenness is my response of humility and obedience to the conviction of the Word and the Spirit of God. And as the conviction is continuous, so must the brokenness be continuous.

True brokenness has both a vertical and a horizontal dimension: it is demonstrated in a willingness to live with the ‘roof off’ in my relationship with God, and the ‘walls down’ in my relationships with others.”

 

 

 

When we become Christians, we are a new creation like it says in 2Corinthians5:17. We do, though, still have the “me-monster”, or flesh, that is fighting against our desire to obey God. These are the thoughts that fight against our ability to have that “absolute surrender” every second of every minute of every day DeMoss describes. That is why the state of brokenness and surrendering our selfish desires to God is so essential in being able to hear and glorify Him.

Those of us who have experienced God’s brokenness know how beautiful it becomes in our lives because God can do the work He desires to do in us. SO, what are some ways we can allow ourselves to break for God? I would love to hear your thoughts. Then tomorrow, we will begin discussing one way I know I have to be broken to allow His light to shine brightly through me.

This is God’s Brokenness: Freedom and Hope. 🙂

 

I’m the ONLY One…

Several months ago, I began struggling with a mind battle. Let me explain. Currently in my church, most of my close friends are either: 1) Trying to have a child, 2) Are pregnant, or 3) Have had a child in the past year. That is the season that women my age are in; I, however, am not in that stage. PLEASE let me be the first to say that I am content to not be in that stage (PRAISE GOD) not because I don’t love children and want to have them, but because my husband is working hard so that when we have children, I will be able to stay at home with them (this is a conviction we have). I did, though, start to develop a fear. How will I connect with my friends if they all are at home and have children and I am working and do not have children??

This is when the “I’m the ONLY One” statements start to creep in, because this is when you are most vulnerable, AND remember, Scripture tells us that the Devil comes at opportune times. I think we, as women, struggle more with this than men do. We think, “I’m the only one who has to deal with _______” or “I’m the only one who isn’t doing ________”, etc. Through conversation with my husband and a good friend, I realized two things:

1. These thoughts are NOT beneficial! When I am beginning to have these thoughts, I will begin to complain and become dissatisfied with my current life. These thoughts are not beneficial to you OR pleasing to God. Paul tells us how to check our thoughts with 1Corinthians10:23, “‘Everything is permissible’–but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’–but not everything is constructive”. Is this something that we are positively growing from? Are we honoring the people we are thinking about?
2. EVERY woman feels alone in some way at some point in their life! When I was having my self-pity “I’m the only one” thoughts, I failed to see how my other sisters in Christ could also have been feeling. One of my friends was the only one in the group who had a newborn currently, another one of my friends had a newborn baby and was the only one who lived in a new city, and another friend was the only one changing careers into something she did not know as well. When we focused on ourselves, we develop fear which can separate us from our strongest relationships. Remember 1John4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”. Ladies, we do not need to have fear because our Lord has a plan and a purpose for us EVERY DAY!

I think it takes a certain level of trust to believe that God has a PERFECT plan for you like Jeremiah 29 talks about, and when we are taking our worries to God, we get to lay our burden on Him. Then, we are able to refocus like it tells us in Philippians4:8-9, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

As a result, I want us to put something into practice. If you are feeling any thoughts beginning with “I’m the Only One…” (and let’s be honest, we all have had them at some point), let’s write them down here in the comments section and then give it to God. If you want to add a verse claiming how you have changed your mentality and given this thought to God, please do so! Remember, we are NEVER alone with God, and He PROMISES us to fight for us and take care of us. Be content with that!

I, like you, will also add one as well throughout the day. I look forward to reading yours!

Choosing to walk in HIS power!

My desire today is to empower us as women to fight the good fight against the temptations and lies of this world (like what we have discussed the past two days). When I went to my church organization’s annual conference this past December, a woman, Beth Sebek. gave an amazing teaching that transformed my mentality about how much power I have with God EVERY DAY! One verse she shared was 1Corinthians1:17,

“For Christ didn’t send me to baptize, but to preach the Good News—and not with clever speech, for fear that the cross of Christ would lose its power“.

Before this, I had never caught the last part of this verse. When we choose to rely on our own, imperfect, flawed, wisdom, we are fearing that the CROSS OF CHRIST will not have enough power to take care of us. WHAT?!?! Ladies, let us not forget, Satan tells us what we ARE NOT, but God calls us and tells us WHAT WE ARE! John8:44b states that Satan is the Father of Lies, but remember, He cannot tell you what your future is, only God knows that. Do you really believe that you are a new creation when you accept His Son like the way God tells us in His Word? 2Corinthians5:14-15 states,

“Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them”.

We no longer need to rely on our own power to fight the fight. When we place our trust in Christ, the power of the Cross transforms into our hearts and gives us a NEW MISSION: to be God’s beloved child… forever. EMBRACE THAT POWER! Ask yourself this question, are you being born again and COMPLETELY transformed every single day?

Remember the beauty in verse Psalm52:8, “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever”. God wants you to flourish with Him, through his love and power. Walk in today and be aware that we have a God who is our God of Redemption!!! This is where your roots will remain deeply planted within streams of water.

I’ll end with a wonderful quote by Donald Miller, “God is in the wind and the water… you can swim in Him or have him brush your face in a breeze”. God has a plan for you, and if you desire Him, He will lead you in the way everlasting (with FREEDOM!).

(Wo)Man In The Mirror- Part II

A friend of mine was discussing yesterday’s blog with me on the phone that this struggle of balancing our physical and spiritual self is a daily issue that so many women struggle with. When I did not know the Lord, there were periods of my life where I obsessed with being that “perfect” woman: having the perfect weight, the perfect BMI (body mass index), etc., because I thought if I was physically “perfect”, then I would find the ideal man and the utopian relationship that would fulfill my life forever. Why wouldn’t I believe that? Look at what the media tells us ladies- seek perfection after models who are not perfect! Watch this short clip:

Obviously, we can never be fulfilled by anything other than Christ, but after I started developing a relationship with the Lord, I tried to ignore my beauty, thinking that was the solution. Once again, that is not what God desires for us. The Lord made us as beautiful creatures that are supposed to captivate our mates (in an appropriate way); Adam says in Genesis2:23, “‘this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man’.” So once again, the question becomes, “where is the balance?”.

As women, we need to accept something: God made us ALL unique women! We cannot  compare ourselves to one another (this is toxic to our contentment as well as how we choose to treat our physical bodies). When we compare ourselves to someone else in an unhealthy way (she has a prettier nose, I wish I had her body type, etc.), we are ultimately telling God that there is a mistake in His creation! Psalm139:14-15 states, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made… when I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body”. God made us all perfectly… do we believe that? We get ourselves into trouble when we try to be someone we were not made to be, and I don’t know about you, but I would rather trust what God’s says about me over my own thinking.

I honestly believe we get ourselves into trouble with our physical bodies when our motives become focused on anything other than glorifying God. 1Corinthians10:31 tells us, “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God”. If we aren’t looking for physical and emotional satisfaction from God, we are feeding our selfish ambitions and desires… which leads to trouble.

I wish I could give you guys a perfect formula on how to glorify God with your bodies, but I doubt anyone will ever figure one out (if you have one, LET ME KNOW!). I think we need to acknowledge that honoring God with our physical bodies will always be a struggle, because we live in a reality where the world, the Devil, and our flesh are against us. There are the few things, though, that have helped me stay on track and avoid the temptation of falling out of balance:

1. Ask yourself DAILY: Why are you wearing what you’re wearing or why are you eating what you’re eating (or not eating)? We know that when we are really asking ourselves these questions, our true motives come out. If we’re eating because we’re upset, then we’re not glorifying God. If we’re trying to lose weight because we want men to give us self worth, we’re not honoring God. Yes, it is fine to take pride in yourself, but if you do it for other motives, you shouldn’t do what you’re doing. One of the most convicting verses I have memorized is Psalm16:2, “all a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but his motives are weighed by the Lord”. Remember that no matter what you do, it should be for God!
2. GET AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER AND BE RAW!! Jesus tells us that we need to encourage and challenge one another (we’re iron sharpening iron, right?). Make sure your accountability partner is one that is going to give you godly wisdom and advice (not someone who will allow you to compromise your standards).  Sometimes our minds may deceive us, so our Christian sisters can be our safety net.
3. PRAY AND MEMORIZE SCRIPTURE! Pray consistently. We won’t hear the Holy Spirit if we’re not building a relationship and knowing what God says in His Word. Also, pray with and for your accountability partner. It’s amazing when you see God answer prayers.

So tonight, I challenge you, look in the mirror and assess yourself. Pray with the heart of Psalm139:23-24, which states, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”. Allow yourself to listen to God and see if there is something in your life you need to change. Then, make a goal sheet of ways you can make your thoughts captive.

If the Lord gives you any encouraging verses or thoughts, post them, so we all can be encouraging one another!

(Wo)Man in the Mirror- Part I

I read in a magazine years ago that a young, beautiful actress, who was 5’7″, said she would rather die than weigh more than 115 pounds. Reading that image haunted me- what a daunting task always feeling pressured to maintain! Now, I don’t agree that the world can have a set/average body weight (women have different body frames, etc.), but let’s just pretend we all did. This woman’s average weight should supposedly be between 130-140 pounds, which is considered ideal. Where did she get 115 pounds from????

Welcome to the America’s corrupt society, ladies. I believe that women struggle with their body images the same way men struggle with physical lusts (because of what the world defines as “beautiful”)- it’s a constant temptation that has to be controlled in order to maintain. The Bible does, though, tell us, two things:

1. Exodus20:4-5a, “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them”.
2. 1Corinthians6:19-20, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body”.

I have seen Christian women do two different things in relation to these two verses. Some women have read the commandment mentioned above where it tells us to not idolize anything. They view the act of focusing on their physical bodies as an idol, and instead concentrate on their inner appearance (1Peter3:3-5). This mentality of focusing on our internal character is honorable. However, some of these women get so legalistic with only focusing on their internal spiritual self that they let their physical bodies go, and I do not think that glorifies God (like having poor nutritional habits or physical habits which keep us healthy). If we are ignoring God’s temple (our bodies), that can’t be honoring God.

God also tells us in the second verse to honor our physical bodies, because it is not our own, and when we have Christ in us, we are God’s dwelling place. We must, then, take care of ourselves spiritually AND physically. We do not want, though, to become like the actress who is so consumed by her weight and physical appearance that is an obsession we control instead of glorifying God with it.

SO… where is the middle ground here, and how do we honor God with our bodies?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Wo(Man) in the Mirror- Part II comes tomorrow…

Running the Race

Years ago I was having dinner with a bunch of my Christian friends, and one of my existentialist friends asked the question, “If you were old and it was the last day of your life, what would your greatest fear be?” After thinking for several minutes, my answer became, “not continuing to run hard after the Lord for my entire life”.

I have heard that when you are in college and a part of a strong Christian Church, ten years after you graduate, half of those people (at least!) will no longer be walking strongly with the Lord. How depressing! When I hear such dismal statistics, I think back to the question I answered years ago. How do we not become stagnant, lukewarm Christians? Of course, there are the typical answers that are extremely important, like: read your bible everyday, pray, go to church, etc. While I agree that those are are all essential aspects to maintain a strong relationship with the Lord, all of those things can become legalistic if we do not have one thing- a passion for God. Romans 12:11 states, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord”. I believe this is the key to maintaining a strong relationship with God, because let’s face it, this world is against us. We, as Christians, are going to experience pain and trials, and if we are not passionately connected to our Father, we will lose sight of why we are running this eternal race.

1Corinthians9:24-27 states, “Do you know that in a race all runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize”.

Look at how she has beaten her physical body- we must go into this strict training with our spiritual lives!

This is one of my favorite verses for a multitude of reasons, but I am going to focus on one today; I have always been an athlete. Growing up, I played competitive fast-pitch softball all throughout high school; I ran for high school and still do up to 15Ks, and the past few years, I have done an amazing workout lifestyle called CrossFit. Think about people who are training for national events- they work their bodies for hours a day to get to that elite level and their mind is always on one thing: getting the prize. When I think about us as Christian women, are we beating our bodies and “making it our slave”? That is an extremely difficult thing to accomplish, especially if we do not know how we connect to the Lord and feel His presence.

One of the pastors at my church did a teaching on the different ways people connect with God. There were a plethora of ways on the list, and I most definitely on my own connect with the Lord when I am reading the Word in His nature. I have found that this spurs me on to see how big He is, and how he created this world for us. I also connect to God through fellowship; my friends who know me very well can attest to the fact that I need fellowship, especially with my Christian sisters. This is when I get to share what God has been telling me through His Word, or how I have been encouraged, etc.

My question to you today is, do you know the way you connect and hear from God? Are you pursuing that connection daily so you can be running his race strongly and consistently? If you do, share some ways you connect with God so others can hear!