I’m the ONLY One…

Several months ago, I began struggling with a mind battle. Let me explain. Currently in my church, most of my close friends are either: 1) Trying to have a child, 2) Are pregnant, or 3) Have had a child in the past year. That is the season that women my age are in; I, however, am not in that stage. PLEASE let me be the first to say that I am content to not be in that stage (PRAISE GOD) not because I don’t love children and want to have them, but because my husband is working hard so that when we have children, I will be able to stay at home with them (this is a conviction we have). I did, though, start to develop a fear. How will I connect with my friends if they all are at home and have children and I am working and do not have children??

This is when the “I’m the ONLY One” statements start to creep in, because this is when you are most vulnerable, AND remember, Scripture tells us that the Devil comes at opportune times. I think we, as women, struggle more with this than men do. We think, “I’m the only one who has to deal with _______” or “I’m the only one who isn’t doing ________”, etc. Through conversation with my husband and a good friend, I realized two things:

1. These thoughts are NOT beneficial! When I am beginning to have these thoughts, I will begin to complain and become dissatisfied with my current life. These thoughts are not beneficial to you OR pleasing to God. Paul tells us how to check our thoughts with 1Corinthians10:23, “‘Everything is permissible’–but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’–but not everything is constructive”. Is this something that we are positively growing from? Are we honoring the people we are thinking about?
2. EVERY woman feels alone in some way at some point in their life! When I was having my self-pity “I’m the only one” thoughts, I failed to see how my other sisters in Christ could also have been feeling. One of my friends was the only one in the group who had a newborn currently, another one of my friends had a newborn baby and was the only one who lived in a new city, and another friend was the only one changing careers into something she did not know as well. When we focused on ourselves, we develop fear which can separate us from our strongest relationships. Remember 1John4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”. Ladies, we do not need to have fear because our Lord has a plan and a purpose for us EVERY DAY!

I think it takes a certain level of trust to believe that God has a PERFECT plan for you like Jeremiah 29 talks about, and when we are taking our worries to God, we get to lay our burden on Him. Then, we are able to refocus like it tells us in Philippians4:8-9, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

As a result, I want us to put something into practice. If you are feeling any thoughts beginning with “I’m the Only One…” (and let’s be honest, we all have had them at some point), let’s write them down here in the comments section and then give it to God. If you want to add a verse claiming how you have changed your mentality and given this thought to God, please do so! Remember, we are NEVER alone with God, and He PROMISES us to fight for us and take care of us. Be content with that!

I, like you, will also add one as well throughout the day. I look forward to reading yours!